For starters, my scale is from 1 to 10, 1 being I just want to curl up into a little ball and cry for days and days and a 10 being take THAT Satan! *punch in face*. I hope that made you all smile, it made me chuckle a little. This week I was probably a little more on the 6ish low 7 range.
This week was actually pretty good on my part. A lot of things happened, highs and way lows. This is my letter to President today:
"We had a pretty interesting experience this week with a family involving following the Spirit in asking questions, things happening for a reason, and prayers answered.
We're teaching a family They were one of the families we watched Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration with and it went really well. The daughter is a recent convert of about six months, I believe, and from spending time with her and hearing her comments about some things, we were a little alarmed and wanted to make sure she understood everything the Elders had been teaching her. So we decided to go for a walk with her to get her away from her family so she could talk openly and not get distracted. We brought a sheet and just sat in the park and talked. We asked her questions about her testimony, helped her understand that a testimony isn't some long, boring story that people tell for fun, and we talked about her past experiences to help her realize that she does have a testimony to some truths. It was awesome. The Spirit was super strong and our relationship was strengthened greatly. So that was awesome.
Then we went and visited on Saturday after the conference. We ended up talking about forgiveness and the Atonement. . . We explained the situation (too personal to post) and Bishop instructed us in what he wanted us to do he wants us to continue visiting. . .He then went on to explain that us being in this area has been an answer to a lot of prayers because they knew something must be going on with this family but they didn't really have a way to get in because the Elders didn't have any kind of relationship with the family. He then went on to say that this is just the tip of the iceberg in our area they're extremely grateful that we're here."
So that explains that. Thank you for the pictures, by the way. And as much as getting a mani or pedi sounds, I think I'm going to pass. I do need flat socks because the ones I bought before I left had died so I hope it's okay that I go to Target today and buy some.
So now for the happy part of the week. I stinkin' shook Elder Neil L. Andersen's hand. And he stood like, 3 feet away from me during the conference and made eye contact with me like, 4 times. Super intimidating but not because he's super humble... really mixed feelings during those few seconds. It was actually kind of funny, we were sitting at the back of the chapel, the front row of the overflow. We were joking around before the conference started that "we couldn't see". Pf. Little did we know he'd be having a traveling mic on his tie. There was an elder that was making a comment in the back, so naturally I turned around to see him (the elder) while he was talking. Then he was done, and I turned around and was startled to see Elder Andersen staring at me from 3 feet away. Well, hello there. He then stood in the little isle there for a few minutes and talked. We joked around on the way home that it must have been comical to see all 4 (the Hermanas we drove with) of our faces of awe as he stood so close. It was funny.
I unfortunately, again, forgot my notes. But he talked a lot about the Atonement. He didn't talk at all about teaching, which was interesting because I learned more about teaching hearing him talk about the Atonement then I would've if he talked about teaching. He talked about how the Atonement isn't something that's just physically experienced, it's spiritually experienced. You have to feel like you've been forgiven of your sins in order to really feeling the Atonement in your life. He also talked about how they make mission calls. Speaking of that, has Rhina gotten her call yet? The other thing he mentioned that struck me was that if we don't know what else to talk about, talk about Christ. We are his representatives, after all.
Hopefully I'll remember my notes next week and I can do a little more explaining about what I learned because my mind is a little fuzzy right now. I didn't really have time to let it all sink in.
Here are the answers to your questions:
What is it about teaching that you don’t like?
I feel really hypocritical because half the time if I'm teaching something, I struggle with it myself (faith, enduring to the end, etc.) or I just feel like I don't know enough (I know you'll counsel me on how that doesn't matter, I know enough, blah blah blah. Yeah. Heard that all before. Doesn't help. Still feel that way.)
Do you not like sharing the principles of the gospel?
No, I just don't like feeling pressured like every single conversation I have with someone has to be Gospel related. I got annoyed when people did that to me before my mission and I've met plenty of people here that have said the same thing.
Is it because you feel limited in sharing your feelings and knowledge of the gospel in Spanish?
I don't even care about Spanish at this point. I still struggle, but I've stopped caring. I have bigger fish to fry. I can't even express myself in English.
Is it the fear of rejection when inviting people to make commitments?
And how often are you sleep deprived?
I feel like every day.
Do you know what caused the sleep deprivation?
Nope. I just never feel rested when I wake up in the morning, no matter how well I sleep.
Is it something you have control over?
I don't think so.
Is it something that just happened once or happens often?
Happens a lot. Probably 5 out of 7 nights. And that's being generous because I'm in a good mood.
Do you like studying the gospel?
I love studying the Gospel. Half the time I just want to stay in our apartment and keep reading. If anything, that's what's gotten me this far.
Who have you uplifted this week and how?
I feel I have already answered that question with my stories from this week.
How many tender mercies have you felt and in what ways did they come?
I've had a lot of support this week of people encouraging me. Even people that don't know I want to go home.
Did you enjoy your pictures?
Does it help to see the those pictures, to remember you have a cheering section?
And here's what's coming up this week. My therapist wants me to make a definite decision by a due date. I gave myself until Thursday of this week. I feel like I have one of two options: Stay and start taking medication or go home and don't take medication. I don't really want to tell what I'm thinking about right now because I want to make sure it is my decision and not what every one else thinks. But yeah. That's where I'm at at this point.
Alrighty. Well. I think this is the longest email I've ever sent.
I love ya!