No me gusta

Right now I'm just sitting in the Operahouse, working, and listening to Mama in the background and trying so hard to drown it out with the lovely voices of Brandi Carlisle and Unkle Bob... it's not going well. I don't think I've been more scared of a movie. Maybe it's because I don't know what going on and all I can hear are people screaming so my imagination gets the better of me. Or I'm just a wimp. Either way, no. me. gusta. I'm scared to go anywhere near the door because, with my luck, that would be when a really loud, scary moment would happen and I would jump. To make things better, someone just walked in to get gift certificates. No one ever comes in here after the movie starts, usually. Needless to say, I went into ninja mode. I just want this movie to be over.

On a completely unrelated topic, today I finally finished all of my mission shopping. I just have to await some stuff in the mail and have my mom finish my temple dress and I will be all set. I cannot believe it's less than a month away! And I am overwhelmed by those who want to be there in Provo before I report to the MTC. I was surprised when I didn't have to ask someone to pick me up but the lovely and talented Kaelin Vining just volunteered out of nowhere! It's going to make the whole going-to-California-for-the-first-time-and-not-being-able-to-see-friends-for-18-months adjustment a lot easier having her there. And my sister. And my cousin. And maybe Brandt. and maybe the Mullers. And who knows who else. But no matter what, Kaelin will be there, and that will make my life a whole lot easier. 

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how much I'm going to change during my mission. For one thing, I think I will be a lot quieter. I don't think I'll get to know Spanish well enough to have the same kind of touch as when I speak in English, and maybe that's better. My friend Sam pointed out that he's quite a talker, and learning Spanish is going to make him have to think about what he's saying before he speaks, which could be really good. In that sense, it could be good for me as well because then I can learn how to talk in English again because we all know I'm a little inept at that sometimes. I don't really want to lose my outgoing-ness but I can see that happening in the beginning, just because of my past experiences with Spanish, I can see myself not wanting to talk very much because I don't want to embarrass myself. I guess I'll just have to get over it before it gets the better of me. It'll all be really interesting to see how everything plays out. 

I've also been thinking about the people in my mission. There are a few people I know that either live in the Riverside mission, have siblings serving in the Riverside mission, or are going themselves. I keep imagining myself with these people I've never met, with faces I've never seen before and we're all laughing and getting along and talking about the mutual friends we have and just becoming really good friends besides. I'm curious to see who my trainer is and what kind of a missionary she is. And what kind of a person she is. Hopefully I get someone that I can have fun with but still get the job done but again, we shall see.

Thinking about all this stuff just makes me anxious to get going. I hate not knowing things and not knowing who my first companion is going to be is killing me. I really just want to know already. Once I know who it is, it won't kill me as much to know who my next one is because I'll be focusing on the current one, but right now, I've got no one. I just want to know! 

I also can't believe how many of my friends are on missions already. I seriously never thought this day would come when almost all of my friends would have served a mission, be on a mission, or have their mission call. It is mind blowing. I am truly blessed to have found such a good group of friends. Kind of a random bunch, some of which aren't even friends with each other, but I love them all and am so proud of them. I'm also proud of my friends not going on missions because they're all going on to do amazing things like Fiji and grad school. I miss all of my friends, but I'm just glad they have everything figured out for themselves... for the most part :). 

Well it's been a rather long day. These are my thoughts.